A Teachable Moment
I was looking at an online news story where someone made some kind of blunder, and it was referred to as a Teachable Moment.
As I read it, I gave a little smile inward. Aren’t they all Teachable Moments?
Of course they are! And those who see the consequences of their thoughts, feelings and behavior as Teachable Moments are the people who live the most fulfilled lives, and enrich the lives of others.
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Of course this note should end right here. What I just wrote is obvious to a second grader, much less an adult.
So just for fun, let’s look at that same news story. This one happens to be about President Obama and the controversy around an African American woman who didn’t do her best with a white farmer she was supposed to help.
Plenty of Teachable Moments here! A lesson to be learned in public
accountability. Another one in healing and forgiveness.
And another in not jumping to conclusions before you get all the facts.
The Teachable Moments go on and on.
And of course some will take them and move forward. Not just those
directly involved, but those of us who read the story.
And of course many more will use this whole incident to validate and
justify their opinions on individuals or groups of people. That applies
to all points of view, not just one. The comment section at the end of
the story is proof of that.
Of course the people who comment on these stories are disproportionately part of the “Peanut Gallery.” You know, the ones who like to spew hatred, racism, misogyny and all kinds of weirdness through the safety of anonymous posting. Not all, but many.
But the point remains. Everything that happens to us is a Teachable Moment.
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I’ve spent much of the last 20 years training beginning counselors as a
supervising mentor through college masters degree programs. These are
people who are bright, caring and genuinely committed to helping others.
And like any other beginning professional, they create plenty of Teachable Moments. Some little ones, like letting a client go on too long during a conversation.
And some whoppers, like missing an important deadline, or failing to protect the client’s safety when they’re in danger.
One way of looking at them is to call them mistakes. And they were. Damage was done that needed to be undone.
And in one or two cases the Teachable Moment was severe enough to have me think counseling was the wrong profession for this person.
But the EMOTION we bring to it – the way we interpret our Teachable Moments – is the thing that separates being a slave to them from learning, growing and getting better.
I guarantee, before too long you will have a Teachable Moment. May not make the Internet, but you’ll have one.
Count on it! I’ve had a couple in the last 24 hours. 
What you do with them – whether you call it a mistake, or even a character flaw – or you recognize them as a funny, loving moment to get bigger, stronger and full of love…that one’s completely up to you.
Seize The Day!
Your Pal,
Larry
Rabbits Rabbits Rabbits!!!
They’re everywhere!
OK, not really.
But if you look on the front lawn or backyard of my house, the chances are pretty good you’ll see a rabbit.
Yeah, it’s no big deal. We border reservoir property in the back. Acres and acres of woods. It’s actually beautiful to look at. Even though our property stops about thirty feet into the woods, it feels like it’s all ours.
And of course, in a sense it is. In that same sense, it’s yours too.
But that’s a story for another time.
Anyway, back to the rabbits…
The funny thing about the rabbits, is we’ve been living in this house for 12 years now. In that time we’ve seen all kinds of animals. Plenty of deer. Wild turkeys. Pheasant. Raccoons, turtles, snakes. Even the occasional coyote.
But until this year, never a rabbit.
About two months ago the first rabbit showed up. We took notice because we’ve never seen them before. It was kinda cool. Then I forgot about it…
Until the next day, when I saw another. I know it was another, because it was a different color than the first one.
Then there were more. And more. Last rabbit sighting: about half an hour ago.
So what’s the deal with all the rabbits? Of course we know the answer. They breed like – well, rabbits!
And apparently Mama Bunny and Papa Bunny got busy in our backyard, and started a family.
It’s like that sometimes….nothing, nothing, nothing.
Then…SHAZAM! A bevy of bunnies.
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Think for second. It’s like that in our own lives. We want something, or we want to do something.
And nothing’s there.
So the smart ones – the ones who understand the process of manifestation, build themselves up. They build their skills, their attitudes, their readiness to receive.
They lay the groundwork.
And they get little hints of success to coax them along. Nothing big. Just a few under the radar achievements.
Until all of a sudden…
SHAZAM!!!
Rabbits everywhere.
Wild success.
Happy Happy Joy Joy!
They celebrate.
Then they joyfully look for something else to do.
Kinda what we’re doing here.
Wanna play with us in the bunny patch?
Your Partner in Prosperity,
Larry
To Sheila: It’s All About You!
I had the good fortune to reconnect with a high school friend of mine named Sheila through Facebook. As far as I can tell she’s not involved in marketing, sales, or any business type venture. She’s just a great lady who is having some personal challenges at the moment.
So when I put out my Facebook status one morning she responded differently than most.
The status: “Spend a day making it all about them, not you. See what happens.”
Good advice if you’re trying to build a sales organization of any kind, or if you’re trying to get customers. They’re much less interested in how cool you are than you might think.
They’re much more interested in knowing how you’re going to help them get what they want.
Of course “making it all about them” takes on a completely different meaning if you’ve spent years putting everyone’s needs ahead of your own.
And while Sheila didn’t use those words, she sure as heck hinted that’s what had happened. She felt tired, frustrated, unappreciated, and had forgotten who she really was.
I didn’t like seeing this. Sheila was one tough chick in high school. One of the few female body builders I knew…actually the only female body builder I knew. This was in the early 1980’s, before gym memberships were cool for teens. Sheila was fun loving and kind…and she also knew how to take care of business.
The years do lots of things to us, positive and negative. Sheila looked at what I meant as an invitation to take ego out of the way in business and tried to fit it into her own life. It just didn’t work.
Her exact quote: “I spend everyday making it all about them…and what do I get in return? Nothing…except a broken heart.”
So now begins the process of Sheila learning to say, “It’s all about me.” Seems like this is what she is ready for. Those of us who learned to put ourselves first…before anyone else know the benefits of doing so.
We heal from the disappointments of not living up to the expectations of others.
We heal from the disappointments of others not living up to our expectations.
We learn to enjoy our own company no matter what anyone else thinks or says.
We bring into our lives people with complimentary energy. We get to genuinely enjoy those around us.
We attract new opportunities and better life situations. We just feel better.
We create room in our hearts to care for others – to think of their needs because we know how to meet our own in any situation.
Yes, Sheila…it IS all about you. Enjoy getting that connection back to the “girl power” you knew.
Be the strong, confident loving woman that’s waiting to come out.
Your Old, and New Friend,
Larry
P.S. I bet there are a lot of “Sheilas” reading this..both genders. It’s all about you too!
Memorial Day Message: Honor and Civility
Hi All,
CLICK HERE for the audio I recorded for Memorial Day, 2009…
Six minutes about your responsibility to live big, and to honor those who died for your liberty to treat it with respect.
That’s the 2009 version, and I’m going to stick my two cents in right here with the 2010 message…
I’m looking at the blogs, and listening to the conversations around me. The absolute disrespect we are hurling at our political leaders, and those who disagree with us…it amazes me.
It is a dishonor to those who gave our lives so we can have liberty.
Look, I understand what happens when you have a computer and the ability to speak your mind without having to interact directly with those who can read your words.
We allow our anger and our frustration to boil over. We participate in a free-for-all of hostility and hatred. The consequences for that kind of hate speech are minimal.
Or are they?
The fabric of our society is our CIVILITY. To disagree with the positions of our elected officials while honoring them as people and the process that allowed them to become elected in the first place.
It’s the same process that allows them to be voted out of office.
When we write and say things out of hatred – when we make it personal – we tear at the fabric our society was built upon.
We stop hearing each other. We make it easy to make decisions by listening to the voices of intolerance, bigotry and narrow self-interest.
Simply put, we become dumber.
And this is no time to be dumb. We need the best minds. We need an informed electorate now more than any other time.
Calling each other names plays into the hands of those who wish us ill.
It also happens to be a favorite tactic of those who kill and blow themselves up because someone’s religion or skin color is different.
It’s Memorial Day weekend. Honor those who gave their lives for your liberty.
Discuss. Debate. Disagree.
Organize. Make sure your elected officials know what you want, and why you want it.
Work to vote your favorites in and vote the ones you disagree with out.
And honor the sacrifice of our veterans by cherishing the values that a prosperous society needs to stay prosperous.
Your Friend,
Larry Hochman
Coloring Your Confidence (and Compassion)
“I thought we were going to color with the little kids. I don’t want to do this.”
So said a 16 year old girl. And the adventure begins!
It had been an interesting experience. Each year our local United Way chapter has something called a Day of Caring. Community folks do volunteer work at different nonprofit organizations. I wound up being the team supervisor for a group of high school students who were dispatched to a local horse farm where they practice therapeutic riding for kids with autism.
None of us knew where our placements were beforehand. This was my first year. Apparently this young lady had done work at a local United Way affiliated daycare center last year, and thus was ready to color with the kids all over again.
When we got to Shepard Meadows we knew it would be a different story.
Another group of volunteers were already at work painting a barn. We soon found out our job was to paint a newly built fence. Brushes, gloves and little buckets were waiting for us, as well as a giant bucket of white paint. Ten of us filled up our little buckets and went to work.
As we painted I couldn’t help but smile to myself. The young lady who wanted to color actually got her wish. Only instead of using crayons to color with kids she was using paint to color a giant fence. A slightly different kind of coloring. Turns out she got nearly as much paint on herself as she did the fence.
But she was a trooper! Actually, all the kids were. They painted away in the hot sun, barely taking a break. It turns out the staff at the farm thought we’d only get about half the fence done in the three or so hours we worked. We got nearly the whole thing done, and ran out of paint. What a crew!
And whether she knew it or not, my little friend was probably doing more good than if she had helped one youngster with coloring pictures. Because of her and the rest of the team, many kids who have a hard time communicating any other way are going to ride horses. They will learn confidence, communication on a deeper level, even love.
When we finished, all the kids were tired but happy. They felt the sense of accomplishment. My little friend complained about the paint that had ruined her t shirt and shorts. But there was a gleam in her eye and a little smile on her lips.
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We all have talents and skills. We’re all gifted. Most of us only allow our skills to come out when we’re in our comfort zone.
We can color anywhere. We can build anywhere. We can communicate anywhere.
And we can love anywhere.
Working – and playing – in a different environment than our usual one gives us a chance to grow. It shows us how capable we are.
And it gives us a chance to serve those around us.
What can you do today that will help you expand? What abilities do you have that, put to different use, will challenge you, make you bigger, stronger, more complete and more amazing than you already are?
Who is waiting for you to step up, step out and “color in” their world?
Your Friend,
Larry
P.S. Take a look at Shepard Meadows. If you have a therapeutic riding center near you, it’s worth your support. If not, feel free to support this magnificent place in Connecticut!