Your Antagonist Doesn’t Have To Be Your Enemy

Larry Hochman Antagonist

I’m not precisely sure when the idea for this subject came to me. I know I dictated it into my iPhone, then went on my way.

And it may seem an odd subject for a dude who’s thrown down so heavily with weight loss and physical well being.

But the truth is…our bodies want to be healthy. They want to find equilibrium in the form of healing, balance and a healthy weight. And so much of our physicality is tied up in regret and resentment from the past.

So yeah…I know why the subject came to me.

And here it is…

It’s common for us to think of people who challenge us, who piss us off, who make us sad, who elicit most kinds of angry or hurt reactions as our enemies.

That is a shortsighted, even dangerous thought process.

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We have to start with the realization that people are not our “enemies.”

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They are far too busy running their own lives, keeping their own heads above water to plot any kind of mischief against us.

In fact I’ll bet money that no one woke up this morning and said, ” Hmmmmm… I think I’ll plot something terrible against  ”(insert your name here).”

If that did happen, I would really check how you’re living your life, and what attracted to that kind of hostility towards you.

Like I said, that’s pretty rare among grown-ups.

What is not so rare is the temptation to look at those with whom we have conflict as our “enemies.”

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They aren’t. They’re our antagonists.

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They’re our personal puzzle. They’re a challenge to whatever the flow of our thoughts, emotions and behaviors are.

They upset our groove.

And that’s okay. Because quite often our groove is calling out to be upset.

They challenge our behavior, and indirectly they challenge the thoughts and feelings that led to that behavior.

The fact that they do it in an unpleasant way doesn’t negate the lesson. In fact the unpleasantness often it makes it easier for us to see, since it creates something we may not like, but have to deal with.

Someone who really clashes with us is someone we have a hard time avoiding.

And yes, we can chalk it up to them being mean, miserable, irresponsible, thoughtless, selfish a**holes.

But that’s rarely the case. In fact your antagonist may think of you the same way.

Or they may not be thinking of you at all. You’ve magnified their importance in your life way over what it really is.

Or they may be thinking of you with love and compassion…even as they keep a distance. Talk about upsetting the applecart!

In that sense they are our great teachers, even heroes.

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Your antagonist is calling out to your best self.

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Because you have negative energy tied up in maintaining a hostile or distant relationship with them.

That doesn’t mean you should welcome a toxic or dysfunctional relationship back into your life.

But whenever things are out of balance in the form of anger, it’s always an invitation to grow.

To reach for empathy, and compassion. And respect…for you and for them.

And yeah…watch that energy go free!

And imagine how you’re going to use it for something wonderful!

Your antagonist isn’t your enemy.

Your antagonist is your best friend.

YOUR TURN

Have you been holding onto anger, resentment, regret for your antagonist?

Have you set yourself free from that bondage?

Comment below. Share above. Someone is trying to figure it all out!

 

January 28, 2015 · Filed Under Uncategorized

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You Gotta Work For It

Leave it to a snowstorm to show us truth!

Everything good and healthy and beautiful is lined up, ready and waiting for you.

But you have to clear out of your own mess.

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January 27, 2015 · Filed Under Uncategorized

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Snow? What Snow?

Snow What Snow

Yeah, I know it’s coming.

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It’s here already, though not the big  stuff we’re supposed to get overnight into tomorrow.
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(And before I go too deep into it, no it’s not just a story about snowstorms. It’s about living smart, having fun and  being ready for anything.)
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The most recent forecasts are calling for anywhere between 18 to 30 inches. If history kind of judge, it’s probably going to be on the high side.
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I don’t know about you, but why would anyone expect anything else? It’s winter in New England! That’s how we roll!
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So when I hear people complain about the weather…when they sigh and roll their eyes and pout, I wonder…what’s the point?

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There are certain things that are in our control,  If you hate snow, you can pick up and move to a different part of the country…or maybe  even a different country altogether!
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“But I can’t just leave. I have a family. I have a job. I have a life I carved out here!”
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OK…then your purpose for complaining is what???
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But let’s say moving was an easier option than that. What’s stopping you? People do it all the time.
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Of course if you move away from the snowstorms, you’re likely moving toward the hurricanes. Or the tornadoes. Or the earthquakes.
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You’re getting the point of this…
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Complaining about the inevitable is silly.

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And a colossal waste of energy.
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And a denial of your own resourcefulness.
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And a shame, because you are radiating misery, when there are so many better options.
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Snowed in? Go grab the shovel and clear a small path every hour or so.
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That’s what I intend to do, until Big Don the plowman comes and works his magic on the driveway!
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And I’m going to allow my daughter Sarah to make me tea…and any other deliciousness she chooses to cook up for her pops!
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And I’m going to celebrate my other daughter’s first blizzard in her own apartment.
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Look, choices are everywhere. And I’ll tell you what we all know, and always forget…
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You don’t control the weather.
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You DO control how you respond to it.
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And yeah…you don’t control the economy.
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Or trends in business.
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Or whether that person thinks you’re cute, or cool.
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But you do control your response to all of them.
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And if you respond with a sense of humor, and commitment to make your part of the world  a little bit better…
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It starts getting bigger. And a more fun place to be around.
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Snow or no snow.
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P.S: We had an epic audio training last night at the T3 Method: Total Transformation Training.
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Yeah, it’s about health and weight management.
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Because that’s what people want.
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It’s about so much more.
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We feel great. We function better.
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And in the process of doing so, we get healthier and lose weight.
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Wanna play along?
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I don’t care if you’re looking to lose weight or not.
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Neither does Chris, our personal trainer.
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And neither does Col, our “Food Angel.”
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We want you.
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CLICK HERE and see if this is where you belong.

January 27, 2015 · Filed Under Uncategorized

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Abundance, Health And Weight Loss

Health, well-being and even weight-loss are not about depriving yourself of the good stuff.

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In fact, the more you respect yourself enough to partake of the good things in life, the more you will develop the motivation and habits of someone with a healthy weight and a healthy body.

Come join me at the Winefest Weekend at the Mohegan Sun in Connecticut!

 

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January 24, 2015 · Filed Under Uncategorized

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The Silent Treatment

 

The Silent Treatment doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

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In fact, it can be, ya know…golden!

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Two minutes and 32 seconds…and only a little bit of silence.

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January 22, 2015 · Filed Under Uncategorized

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