Most of the stuff I put on the NO MORE HOLDING BACK blog comes from my own experiences. My own challenges, screw ups, dust myself off experiences and successes.
And every once in a while I get inspiration from some of my favorite social media peeps. And sometimes my not so favorite ones!
RAVEN STARRE is definitely one of my favorites. When she put up a status about a $37.00 teleseminar she’s hosting, it attracted a crowd. And some of that crowd started blaming others for a bad economy, or not having the 37 bucks to attend the event.
I’m not judging any person. We’ve all had those times in our lives.
But…if you want things to get better, there are certain principles you better follow.
So here are the three smacks upside the head I put on the post. I expanded on them a bit here.
BTW…if you’re looking at jumping into the home business arena, Raven is a rock star with a documented record of helping people break through and get rich. Hit her up!
1. When your first move is bringing partisan politics into a thread about prosperity…no matter what they are, liberal or conservative, you’re telling the world your prosperity is based on something outside yourself. And you don’t get to say you were talking about “them.” “They” can speak for themselves…they don’t need you. Stop getting distracted by non-issues. And stop trying to take other people with you.
President Obama isn’t sitting in a room trying to figure out how to ruin the economy, and your life.
Neither was President Bush, or anyone else. Like ‘em or not, they’re doing their best. If you want to blame politicians for your troubles, or anyone else’s, get in line. There’s a long list of broke people ahead of you.
2. Don’t ever, ever, EVER telegraph your story of lack for all the world to see, then expect to be seen as strong. I don’t care what is going on in your life. We’ve all had shit happen to us. Airing it in public, unless you’re telling people how you overcame it is the sign of a non-leader. That’s not personal. That’s just human nature and psychology. Keep your private struggles private.
Expressing vulnerability is one thing…to make a public statement of not having money is another. When I express my vulnerability (and believe me…I do), I pick my spots carefully. I always determine, what, where, who and when. So when I open myself up to the things that challenge me now – and there are some – it’s with close advisers who have gained my trust…and in private. And when I say I was $40,000 in consumer debt, it’s not until I found my way out of it by rearranging my thoughts and emotions, then letting the actions follow suit.
Leadership does mean allowing yourself to be vulnerable. The very act of standing up in front of a room (or a virtual room) makes you open to criticism and ridicule.
It doesn’t mean letting the world know what you haven’t achieved yet. Most people are more interested in giving you ridicule or pity. I don’t want either one.
So when I bring it, it’s not to tell the world how much I do or don’t have. There are places to process your money struggles, or your relationship struggles, or your weight struggles.
It’s with people who are qualified to help, or where your vulnerability is going to be accepted and supported.
It’s NOT in the post with the guy who blamed the economic problems of the world on President Obama. Seriously…what kind of feedback do you think you’ll get from that thread?
3. I promise you…if you took someone from 100 years ago and magically plopped them down into today’s world with its technology and economy, they wouldn’t believe how much opportunity there is…even in a so called “down” economy. It’s all relative. If you needed to make money to survive…you’d find a way. So if you want something badly enough, you’ll find a way for that too. If not, that’s fine. I love all people.
But be real. Don’t expect to get the rewards of prosperity if you’re only willing to take what someone else is willing to give.
Like these? Did they piss you off? Got any Head Slaps of your own? Share them here in the Comment Section!
Yesterday was the Cyber Monday special on the ebook version of HOW TO RECEIVE. As I expected, there was a great response. A 47 dollar product being sold for less than ten bucks…yeah, that’s a pretty good deal!
Now the classic marketing technique is for me to say something like this…
“The demand for this book was so overwhelming, I’m going to extend the sale one more day.”
It’s a great technique. And there have been times when I did decide to extend a special offer beyond the time I said I would.
This isn’t one of those times.
First of all, it doesn’t matter how many people order the book. It’s not extra work to send something electronically. So it’s not like I have to extend the offer to fill the demand.
Second, and this is the real reason I won’t extend the offer…
Windows open and close in our lives for reasons. Sure, I made the Cyber Monday offer to generate some more sales and get people interested in buying more products and services from me.
But the truth is, I always call out to people who are ready to make personal, spiritual, physical and financial upgrades to their lives.
And there’s a space in people’s lives when that happens. Not all the time.
If you hold that door open forever…after the time someone is inspired to walk through…you wind up letting people in who weren’t supposed to be there.
And I don’t want those people. At least not yet.
That’s not arrogance. Some people just wanna hang out and read my stuff. They don’t want to invest the time and energy in change. That’s perfectly cool.
And some do. But they don’t see the value in my stuff. They’d rather use training from someone else. Also perfectly cool.
And then there others who sit on the fence. They’re uncomfortable and in pain, but need a sign to make something happen.
The Cyber Monday special was for them.
I wanted them to see the sign…and take advantage.
Because yeah…I KNOW my stuff is life changing for someone who is ready to implement it.
My Facebook status from yesterday…
How To Fail: Believe
How To Succeed: KNOW
So…if you were one of the people who grabbed the book while it was on special…you rock! Do the steps, and let it work its magic.
If you’re ready to make something happen now…I’m ready for you, at full price.
It will be worth it…many times over.
And YOU are worth it.
I never liked that question.
Isn’t that the stuff we do all the time?
Take a look at many of the people you know who are living beaten down, poverty stricken lives. Very few of them are in that situation because they tried something and failed.
Most of the “failures” are there because they didn’t take enough risks in the first place.
For the most part they spent most of their lives continuing to do stuff where they knew they wouldn’t fail.
I watched this happen over and over again in my career as a high school guidance counselor. I would see kids who wouldn’t push themselves because they didn’t want to work too hard.
Or more accurately, they didn’t want to risk not knowing how to do things. They looked for courses that would give them the credits they needed to graduate, but didn’t force them to reach for new learning, or give them undue amounts of homework.
And by and large, they graduated. And they worked their retail jobs after graduation. Sometimes ten or now twenty years later, I’ll still see them at the supermarket. Or the fast food place.
Or I’ll hear how they’ve gone to prison or the hospital for something I would consider much more risky than trying a harder class.
Or quitting a soul killing job with a sure thing paycheck for something more challenging.
I guess that really has to do with how we define risk, doesn’t it?
We do things within our comfort zone and as a result our world gets smaller and smaller. I strive to do things where I know failure is a real possibility, because that’s where the growth is…even more so than the achievement of what we set out to do.
Whatever your religious background is, if you have any, there’s one thing I am sure of…
We were not put here to be comfortable.
And in some ways our relative, first world, 21st century comfort is the worst thing that could happen to us.
Because it dulls our senses, robs us of the beauty, and even the purpose of being alive.
And that is to grow, to strive, to achieve.
And if you want to get religious about it…
To honor God by giving our best…to ourselves, to each other, to Him.
The other side of the equation: the kids who always tried new things…who took an accelerated or advanced placement course, even when their grades were suspect; the short, gangly kid who tried out for the basketball team; the first boy to join the cheerleading squad in the history of his school…
These were the risk takers!
And if they failed, they always figured out how to pick themselves back up again, and get back into the game.
Failure was always a temporary condition for them, not a way of life.
Those kids, and those adults realize the truth of it…we really never fail if we don’t internalize lack of success.
Of course it’s smart to manage your risk, especially if others are part of your physical and financial well being.
But a better question is…
“What would you do when you find your courage and ambition, and the rewards of success outweigh the risk of failure?”
Please Comment! What have you done that was a calculated risk…or even a reckless one? Where the possibility of failing was real. But you felt alive, on purpose and rich…before any of the rewards showed up?
Having more money magnifies what you’re already experiencing. If you manage to accumulate it while miserable, scared, greedy…guess what you get? But if you accumulate it through love, value, service, great energy, leverage…guess what you get???
Most people I know have a hard time picking a goal at the beginning of their mental/emotional/spiritual awakening…because they have a hard time seeing what’s possible. If you’ve lived small, you’re only going to ask for a little bigger. You’ll have a hard time believing what’s possible. So I’m totally on board with making mid course adjustments about what you want. But what I encourage my peeps to do when setting goals is to figure out how they want to FEEL. From there, it’s a lot easier to ask for stuff that matches that particular state…and to identify what they thought was important but isn’t really lined up with what’s in their heart.
In the 1950′s and 1960′s (and probably still today) affluent people went to country clubs and society meetings. Many of them were very concerned with their status and standing with others.
Fast forward to 2013. Facebook has become the virtual country club. Lots of folks worried about their status and standing with others.
I enjoy being liked too. I’m more interested in being AUTHENTIC AND EFFECTIVE…of getting my message out, supporting others in getting their message out…and finding great peeps to work and play with.
“Breaking the habit of negativity does not require fancy therapy or designer self help books. All that is required is an awareness of what is happening and a decision that no more time will be wasted on pointless endeavors.” DeAnna Dimmitt
Of course I’m a fan of fancy therapy and designer self help books. But I’m a bigger fan of making a decision.
BTW…That’s a picture of Martin Seligman. As far as I’m concerned, he’s THE guy in the self-help movement.
“But Dad’s a Jew!” – Sarah
Like that matters. Besides, that Santa hat was probably made by Chinese who don’t celebrate Christmas.
Being thankful is cool and all.
BEING thankful is a totally different thing.
A personal challenge to go simply beyond “feeling” gratitude…to LIVING it in a profound way…at least for tomorrow. Take it one day at a time after that.
If something is inevitable, it doesn’t make sense to call it sad. Men will lose strength and hair. Women will lose…well whatever they lose. We lose mental clarity and speed. It’s gonna happen. Already has to us middle age folk.
Be happy and have fun with whatever you experienced, and are experiencing now. And know the journey is just in this phase for the time being.
I was all set to write a status about Black Friday that was full of judgment and self righteousness.
Then I remembered…the whole world doesn’t think or do things the way I do. And some people are willing to go out in conditions I choose not to to get stuff they otherwise wouldn’t have the money to get.
To those who are out doing the deal…here’s to being appreciated, having a sense of humor, and having a hot meal ready for you when you get back!
That doesn’t change my opinion that Black Friday is an unhealthy example of manufactured scarcity by retailers. But if people want to take advantage of the lower prices, I’m all for them getting stuff they wouldn’t otherwise have access to.
Can this woman put on a Thanksgiving or what???
(My sister, Bonnie)
GOT SOME TRUTH BOMBS OF YOUR OWN?? LET’S SEE ‘EM.
Put them in the Comment Section.
It’s that time of year for many school kids, especially in the United States…
They tell kids what someone else thinks of the job they did in school.
They tell them about how well they learned…maybe.
They tell them what their effort and attitude were.
And they usually give some kind of a percentage.
And if it’s high enough, they put them on the honor roll.
And of course it goes the other way too.
When I was in middle school, I made the honor roll the first two quarters of sixth grade. I don’t think I ever made it again until I got to high school. And then, it was much more the exception than the rule.
What happened? I didn’t get dumber. But the work got harder. And I got less interested in doing it.
I still learned. Enough so that I got really high SAT scores when the time came to take that particular test.
When I got to college, my grades started to get better. Not all the way, but better.
And in graduate school I had a grade point average of about 3.9.
That wasn’t uncommon. It was a bunch of adults who were successful in their field, had to get approved for the program they were in, were seriously motivated to succeed, and maybe most importantly, understood the rules of the game. They could get good grades because they knew what was expected of them and knew how to deliver the goods.
So at that point there was no “honor roll.” We didn’t need one. We were self-motivated.
But…back to our kids…and maybe to you!
I was talking with a friend today. She’s had a very challenging year personally. She went through some difficult stuff, and managed to get herself most of the way out of it.
At the same time, she was on her way to parent-teacher conferences at her kids’ schools. She was excited because two of the three had made the honor roll. The third one, a high school junior was cruising along with B’s and C’s. Not honor roll, but good enough to get her through.
And although my friend wasn’t particularly happy with those grades, she was aware her daughter knew exactly what she wanted to do when she graduated. She had her eye on a particular trade, and being able to enter it didn’t have anything to do with being on the honor roll.
Of course any field we go into will always need good work habits. Showing up on time, being able to follow directions, communicating with other people, continuing to learn new stuff…these will always be required.
My friend jokingly told me she was proud of all three of her kids, including the one who didn’t make the honor roll.
She was also proud of herself…her own progress. She told me if she was grading herself she would have received honorable mention. Not the honor roll, since she didn’t get where she wanted to.
But close to it. And an “A” for effort.
And a lot of optimism for how she’ll do next time report cards come out.
So…let’s talk about you.
1. Do you have a clear sense of what you want to accomplish? Do you want to hit a certain goal in your career or your personal life? Do you want to feel a certain way?
2. Is it something that can be measured? Or is it more of a “I’ll know it when I feel it” type of thing?
3. Do you have a way to hold yourself accountable to it? Are you good at holding yourself responsible? Is there someone or something in your life that tells you how you’re doing? Is someone giving you their version of a report card?
4. Did you make the honor roll? Did you get an A for effort?
5. Is the way you’re being measured something that makes sense as an adult? Or is it just a false number or letter that has nothing to do with your well being?
You’re in the school of life. The report card is your own happiness, your own prosperity, how you affect other people.
Find a way to measure your success that works for you.
And get on the Honor Roll!
LET LARRY HELP YOU CLEAR THE CLUTTER.
HOW TO RECEIVE will help you remove the blocks to your success.
And replace them with fun, adventure, and making your own personal Honor Roll!
CLICK HERE to take a look…and get started on the next – and greatest part of your life.