Larry Hochman

Breaking Barriers, Having Fun, Achieving Success

Loss

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Loss

In four days we will experience a loss.

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And it’s a gain at the same time.

Our daughter, Sarah leaves for Australia on Tuesday. She’ll be there for a year, working studying and seeing the world.

And of course it’s made easier by the fact we will Skype, and FaceTime and email, and do all the other things technology has gifted us with.

And knowing that after 19 years she’s stepping out on her own, and she’ll return a fully grown woman, makes us very happy.

And when you consider other mothers and fathers lose their children to military deployment, where it’s an entirely different life experience, I have zero to complain about.

Still, it’s a loss. I don’t get to walk past her room and hear her breathing. (She keeps the door shut.)

I don’t get to listen to her singing in the kitchen while I’m trying to write, or shoot a video.

I don’t get to touch or smell my little girl, who stopped being a little girl years ago.

Every parent gets this. Almost all kids leave home…sometimes to the other side of the world.

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Doesn’t mean it isn’t loss. But we get over it.

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Because that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Kids are supposed to leave home to make their own way.

Parents are supposed to grieve the loss…

Then celebrate having gotten another one out of the nest.

And start the next phase, a little lighter than before.

I bless the fact we have two healthy adult daughters who are making their own out of the nest. Many parents aren’t as lucky.

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OK, let’s talk about you.

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Loss is a part of life. The big ones, the small ones, everything in between.

Heartache is gonna happen.

And trying to build a life around avoiding it is a fool’s errand.

True for relationships. True for families.

True for health and wellness.

And true for our careers and businesses.

Many of the folks who read and watch me are home business builders in one form or another.

And a bunch of folks are learning to step out and move past the blocks that hold them back now. They’re in the MIND INTENSIVE with me this summer.

They’re big, brave dogs, as I like to call them. :)

And just like the rest of us, they’ve experienced all different kinds of loss.

Financial loss. Embarrassment. Ridicule from people in their lives over what they’re doing.

And like everyone else, it’s held them back to some degree.

Not like everyone else, they’re facing it head on.

They’re looking their loss in the eye.

And figuring out they are stronger than it is.

And yes, we’re using some techniques I’ve practiced over a long counseling and coaching career.

And we’re tweaking and fine tuning as we go along.

But they’re doing it.

And suddenly, the loss doesn’t seem so bad.

In fact, it seems natural, even welcome.

Because the big, brave dogs who don’t get paralyzed by their losses…who learn and grow from it…

They become the leaders. They make the most money.

They have the most fun.

They give the most, love, compassion and support.

And when they experience loss again (and they will), they have better skills to deal with it.

HOW TO RECEIVE is available right now, at a pretty reasonable price.

MIND INTENSIVE will be available to the public this fall.

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And I am looking for people who are ready to stop being victims of loss.

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And grow into a pinnacle leader and achiever.

In fact I’m gathering up a crew right now for a special Fall Focus Intensive.

It’s going to be very limited..just a few people I can pour into, and who are ready to receive it.

Home business builders are especially welcome.

But athletes, career changers, people seeking new or better relationships… this is for you too.

No details yet.

But if you want to be among the first to know when it comes out, drop me a note at LarryHochman@SBCGlobal.net.

Subject Line: Fall Focus Intensive

I’m going to go spend the last few hours with Sarah. I’m going to grab a few hugs while they’re available.

Go out and do something wonderful.

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P.S.: I get there are wounds that are so deep, it seems like we’ll never recover.

And no, I don’t have every answer.

I only know that the best way to honor the past is to make the present as strong, loving, and life affirming as you can.

And build a magnificent future while you’re at it.

Let me know if you’d like my help with that.

Curt Schilling: Love, Honor And Taking Care Of Your Own

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Curt_Schilling

Two disclaimers…

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1. I have two young adults daughters. They weren’t always young adults. They were kids. And like every kid, they were vulnerable to people with less than good intentions.

2. I’m a baseball fan. I especially like when players from my favorite sport do things that bring credit to it…even if they beat my New York Mets many times in their career.

So I may be a little more invested than other people in this story…though a lot of people are jumping up and down about it.

Third disclaimer: I get offended when people abuse the liberties that are the foundation of America and use them to promote hate, violence and cowardice, especially on the Internet.

No kidding. When American soldiers faced off against Nazi Germany and Japan in World War II it was with to protect the world from facism,

Not so morally bankrupt slackers could spread hatred without consequence. Seriously…a whole generation sacrificed for our liberty. They deserved better than this.

But I’m off track.

Like I said, I have two daughters, 21 and 18. Both know how to stand up for themselves. I like to think they were raised by Diane and me with honor, dignity and self-respect.

They both know when to draw the line with people who are treating them poorly.

And they both know how to ask for help when they’re in over their heads.

I tried never to step in and do for them unless they were at that point. That involved them having to work themselves out of a few tight spots.

But they knew we had their back when necessary.

And today they’re strong, independent minded, kind and compassionate.

Because we didn’t try to rescue them unless they really needed it.

I like when any parent gives their kids the tools to be strong. All different kinds of strong… physically, mentally, spiritually, financially.

It looks exactly like what Curt Schilling did. I’m sure he was tempted to do something stronger than he did.

But he didn’t overreact. He did what he had to do to keep his daughter safe and secure…while still letting her fend for herself.

Guess what?

If you’re a husband, a wife, a marketer, a trainer, a teacher, a lover, a friend…

If you’re anyone who cares about anyone else…

You just found your role model for empowering the people you care about.

Give people enough freedom to make their own mistakes, have their own successes and figure things out for themselves.

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Then when they’re in over their heads, step up.

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It takes your strength to not rescue someone from something they need to figure out on their own.

And it takes courage to put yourself in harm’s way when necessary.

But to be successful in anything that involves developing people…a family, a marketing team, a classroom,
a worldwide organization…

The principle is the same.

Take that to whatever you’re doing.

And thank a former ball player for the lesson.

Yeah, that’s what we do in the T3 Method.

Giving people a structure to lose weight, get healthy and find the self-love and self-respect so many have lost.

Letting them figure things out for themselves, and taking the occasional bump and bruise along the way.

Having their back when their in over their head.

Wanna know more? CLICK HERE.

 

YOUR TURN

Have you let someone you love be strong on their own, so they could learn to do for themselves?

Have you had someone’s back when they needed you?

Comment below. Like, share and Tweet above. Someone is going to be inspired by your strength.

You Are Beautiful!

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larry hochman beautiful

It’s true!

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And believe me when I tell you, it is absolutely the hardest sell I have with anyone, ever.

Harder then when I tell people making money is simple.

Harder than when I tell them getting healthier is easy.

Harder than when I tell them the love of your life you’ve been looking for is right in front of you.

I could drone on all day about good habits, and discipline and follow through. I could even drone on about being a good listener and valuing other people.

And those are pretty straightforward. Even if they don’t always do it, my folks have an easy enough time understanding the importance of each of those.

But to embrace your value, your competence and yes, your beauty…not so much.

So I’m here to drill it into you. It’s the thing I say all the time in my Twitter, on my Facebook status…

larry hochman beautiful tweet

So get this…

None of the other stuff matters until you come to grips with the fact that you are indeed, beautiful.

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And it has nothing to do with your looks, or your intelligence, or anything you have or have not achieved up to this point.

You were put here to do good stuff. To contribute. To accept the contributions of others.

To be part of the grand and glorious game called life.

And that only happens when you’re willing to play along. Yes, I said play. And work also, of course.

But the beautiful people play. And they inspire others to play along with them.

Don’t worry if you have a hard time accepting the fact that you are beautiful right this moment. I got your back.  :)

For now, I’ll see it for both of us.

And as you surrender the struggle with your own sense of inadequacy…

And come to terms with the mistakes you made, and the judgment of others…

And especially the judgment you bring on yourself, which is harder than anyone else’s judgement of you…

And you let them go…

All that’s left is your place in the Universe.

And the realization that you belong.

And that you are in fact, beautiful.

YOUR TURN!

Have you ever felt completely, whole, worthwhile and beautiful?

What is your resistance to it? How do you plan to overcome the little voice that feeds you inaccurate information?

Comment and share. The world is waiting!

Your Graduation Day

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Larry hochman sarah graduation

I am writing this note quite a few days ahead of when you’re probably seeing it. It’s a day of freedom, and I’m going to celebrate it!

No, it’s not July 4, although that’s certainly a day of freedom. Fireworks, barbecues and beer don’t take away the commitment and bravery that went into American independence.

It’s the day of freedom for my daughter, Sarah. After four years, she graduates from high school today.

Most of us who are parents will eventually have kids who graduate from high school. Of course we love them and we’re proud of them.

I’m especially proud of Sarah because she worked her ass off for her freedom.

You see, four years ago Sarah made a choice to attend a performing arts magnet high school in Hartford, Connecticut. That’s about half an hour away when there’s no traffic, and if you live along the Interstate 84 corridor, you know there’s no such thing as no traffic.

This kid had a dream in her heart. She always loved to sing, and she was always very good at it. She wanted to be in an environment where it was OK to not only be herself, but to pursue her dream with everything she had.

So she sacrificed. While her friends were rolling out of bed at 7:00 am, she was up at 4:45 every morning. While they were getting home at 2:30, she wasn’t home most days until 6:00.

While they surfed the net, played on sports teams and enjoyed a relatively care free existence, Sarah got shin splints and blisters from dance class, sore throats from vocal training, and was constantly challenged to reach for tough emotions in acting class.

She paid a price. And she did it willingly.

Because on the other side of that work was true freedom: the freedom to live out her purpose and her dream.

Not that it would be handed to her. It never is.

But the freedom to pursue with the skills and confidence that happens when you make the commitment.

I’m very proud of my girl. And you can bet I’ll be posting pictures on my blog, on my Facebook timeline, pretty much every bit of online real estate I’ve got!

So let me ask you…

1. What is the dream you’ve been telling yourself you can’t have? Hint: It’s the one you “fantasize” about, but when it’s time to do the work to make it happen, something always comes up that keeps you away from the work.

2. What will your life look like in a year if you hold yourself back from your greatness? What will it look like in five years? Ten years? Who’s watching you play smaller than you’re capable of? What are you teaching them?

3. What will your life look like in a year if you dig in, allow yourself to be uncomfortable, and go after your dream with passion and commitment? What convenient things will you have to give up? Which people in your life will have to make adjustments along with you? What will it look like in five years? Ten years? Who’s watching you stretch and grow into what the person you’re capable of? What are you teaching them?

Doing the hard thing is, well…hard.

But the price is worth it. It’s always worth it, no matter the results.

Because when you give it everything you got, you get the FREEDOM to live a life that feels good and right…even when it scares the crap out of you.

Congratulations, Sarah! The world awaits.

And congratulations to you…as you make the choice to pursue your own advanced program!

YOUR TURN

What have you been wiling to do, even though it was hard, or inconvenient? How did you make it less so? Was it “willpower” or did you want it so badly that it became the center of your universe?

Comment below and share. Someone needs your words of wisdom.

 

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