I had the good fortune to reconnect with a high school friend of mine named Sheila through Facebook. As far as I can tell she’s not involved in marketing, sales, or any business type venture. She’s just a great lady who is having some personal challenges at the moment.
So when I put out my Facebook status one morning she responded differently than most.
The status: “Spend a day making it all about them, not you. See what happens.”
Good advice if you’re trying to build a sales organization of any kind, or if you’re trying to get customers. They’re much less interested in how cool you are than you might think.
They’re much more interested in knowing how you’re going to help them get what they want.
Of course “making it all about them” takes on a completely different meaning if you’ve spent years putting everyone’s needs ahead of your own.
And while Sheila didn’t use those words, she sure as heck hinted that’s what had happened. She felt tired, frustrated, unappreciated, and had forgotten who she really was.
I didn’t like seeing this. Sheila was one tough chick in high school. One of the few female body builders I knew…actually the only female body builder I knew. This was in the early 1980’s, before gym memberships were cool for teens. Sheila was fun loving and kind…and she also knew how to take care of business.
The years do lots of things to us, positive and negative. Sheila looked at what I meant as an invitation to take ego out of the way in business and tried to fit it into her own life. It just didn’t work.
Her exact quote: “I spend everyday making it all about them…and what do I get in return? Nothing…except a broken heart.”
So now begins the process of Sheila learning to say, “It’s all about me.” Seems like this is what she is ready for. Those of us who learned to put ourselves first…before anyone else know the benefits of doing so.
We heal from the disappointments of not living up to the expectations of others.
We heal from the disappointments of others not living up to our expectations.
We learn to enjoy our own company no matter what anyone else thinks or says.
We bring into our lives people with complimentary energy. We get to genuinely enjoy those around us.
We attract new opportunities and better life situations. We just feel better.
We create room in our hearts to care for others – to think of their needs because we know how to meet our own in any situation.
Yes, Sheila…it IS all about you. Enjoy getting that connection back to the “girl power” you knew.
Be the strong, confident loving woman that’s waiting to come out.
Your Old, and New Friend,
P.S. I bet there are a lot of “Sheilas” reading this..both genders. It’s all about you too!