“…And I Mean That With All The Love In My Heart”

A fun expression we use in our house quite a bit.
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Of course we say it when we’ve just dropped a piano on someone’s head, or at least stepped on a toe or two.
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Supposedly, it’s to cushion the blow for whatever came before it, or is about to come.
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I like that expression. It’s fun to say.
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Because most of the time when our family uses it amongst each other it’s in good fun. I’ll use it on someone when I’m about to say something about their singing skills. And they’ll use it on me after a comment about my fashion sense.
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Here’s the cool thing…there’s very little real antagonism that goes on. So if we’re having a real disagreement it can get serious, but quiet.
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Sometimes we’ll use that expression and really mean it. “I love you. You’re magnificent. Now here’s what I hate about what you’re doing.”
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And every once in a while I use it outside the family. It’s a great way of throwing someone off balance – getting them to hear you in a way they might not.
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Most difficult conversations don’t have the words “with all the love in my heart” in them.
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But when they do it forces the listener to pay closer attention than they might normally.
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AND…I don’t use it unless there really is love in my heart.
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Fortunately there almost always is, even when it isn’t focused on the person I’m discussing with in that moment.
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Try this little gem of an expression when the circumstances seem right. See if it lightens things up, or puts things into a clearer and better focus.
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Try in on yourself.
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Because most of the negative energy you have swirling around you is for yourself.
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That’s not true.
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ALL of the negative energy you have swirling around you is for yourself.
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Because if someone is doing something that bothers you, or enrages you, or anywhere in between…
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And you get pissed off at them for doing it…
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It’s a complete and total reflection of your core emotional state.
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That off key singing when you’re trying to balance the checkbook?
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That pile of dishes that didn’t get done?
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That betrayal on a deep level?
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None of it touches the Divine energy that’s within them…or you.
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And the usual disclaimer…you don’t have to subscribe to any particular religion, or any religion at all to realize you are part of something that is more than your day to day experiences.
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You do have love in your heart.
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Nothing changes it.
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But everything interacts with it.
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And leading with it – with time and practice – changes the circumstances of your life.

With All The Love In My Heart,
Larry
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HOW TO RECEIVE
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It opens up the pathway to the Love in your Heart.
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And lets you use it let go of a crappy reality.
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And replace it with a beautiful one that has your name on it.

October 9, 2011 · Filed Under Uncategorized

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You Don’t Have To Be A Hostage To Your Mistakes

Confession time: I’ve made mistakes.
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Lots of them.
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I’ve made little boo boo’s.  Social faux paus that caused awkwardness for me and others.

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I’ve made choices based on greed, and scarcity, and fear of loss.

I’ve hurt people based on my own hurt, and wanting revenge.

I’ve wanted them to feel as badly as I felt.  I’ve wanted them to roll in the mud with me.

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I’ve put people down in order to make myself seem bigger by comparison.

I’ve hurt strangers, acquaintances, friends, and people who I love dearly and intimately.

I’ve done wrong many times in my life.

And of all these mistakes, the biggest one I’ve made is allowing them to dictate how I saw myself and what I did in the future.

And I am thrilled to say…that is a mistake I have learned to avoid repeating.

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Let’s start with one important thing, my friend.  Making mistakes is part of the human condition.

It’s our birthright.  It’s our Divine gift.

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We’ve been given freedom of choice.  We are more than our hard-wired neural programming.

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We’ve been given the power of observation and reason, so we get to learn from experience.

We’ve been given the gift of humor. We get to reframe our screw up’s from tragic to funny. We get to laugh.

We’ve been given the power of forgiveness. We can carve out a space of love and compassion for anyone who has done anything.

There is nothing more uplifting than reflecting love back at someone who has done you wrong.
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Uplifting for them; uplifting for you.
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I’m telling you what we all already know. We keep forgetting.
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We live in a culture of “gotcha” media, where the mistakes of celebrities become the background music for our own thoughts, feelings and behavior.
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We become afraid of risk. We internalize failure.

And it needs to be said….there is no one here who hasn’t made mistakes. We’re supposed to.

It’s one of the only two ways we learn.  We learn from failure, and we learn from success.

We do what feel right and we learn not to do that which has consequences, internal and external.

So why the heck shouldn’t we continue to put ourselves out there?

Why shouldn’t we celebrate our mistakes as part of our humanity, with a commitment to do better in the future?

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Because someone is going to continue to hold our mistakes over our head?  A teacher? A parent? A wronged spouse or lover?

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Is it possible that emotion of continued anger is their mistake, directed at you?

And of course the truth: no one is harder on us than ourselves.

We beat the crap out of ourselves for our errors, what we did, what we failed to do.

And often, we have the voice of someone in our head – that parent, that boss, that lover – who continues to kick us, sometimes from the grave.

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Well here’s a news flash, my brothers and sisters…

There is no one here who hasn’t made mistakes.

It’s who we are.  It’s how we grow.

Whatever you did, or didn’t do, you made choices based on the consciousness and the awareness you had then.

You were hurt at the time, or scared, or angry, or greedy.

You’re stronger now.

And whatever you did, you gave someone else an opportunity to grow.  And learn. And find compassion.

And right now…in this red hot moment, you can learn to make a daily habit of love, and laughter, and celebrating life.

And you are perfectly positioned to let go of anger, disappointment and fear.

And you are perfectly positioned to replace them with grace, and confidence, and laughter, and ease.

And you are perfectly positioned to choose your path.

You don’t have to be a hostage to your mistakes.
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You can be their student, and they your teacher.

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And when you’ve learned the lesson, you can do what all good students do…

Graduate.

And move onto the next school.

Live.

Love.

Laugh.

Feel good.  We all deserve it.

Yes, you too.

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HOW TO RECEIVE starts on May 1.
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Everyone who has already signed up has lived a life of trial and error.
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And they decided they’re ready to let go of hurt.
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And receive.
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Good stuff.
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Lots of it.
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Come join us.
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Exchange that energy.
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Live with an open heart and an open hand.
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Let the Universe fill it with blessings.
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Love.
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Money.
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Health.
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Peace.
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CLICK HERE to play.
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Your Pal,
Larry

April 15, 2011 · Filed Under Uncategorized

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A Teachable Moment


I was looking at an online news story where someone made some kind of blunder, and it was referred to as a Teachable Moment.

As I read it, I gave a little smile inward.  Aren’t they all teachable moments?

Of course they are!  And those who choose to approach the consequences of their thoughts, feelings and behavior as teachable moments are the people who live the most fulfilled lives, and enrich the lives of others.

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Of course this article should end right here. What I just wrote is obvious to a second grader, much less an adult.

So just for fun, let’s look at that same news story. This one happened to be about President Obama and the controversy around an African American woman who didn’t do her best with a white farmer she was supposed to help.

Plenty of teachable moments. A lesson to be learned in public accountability. Another one in healing and forgiveness. And another in not jumping to conclusions before you get all the facts. The teachable moments go on and on.

And of course some will take them and move forward.  Not just those directly involved, but those of us who read the story.

And of course many more will use this whole incident to validate and justify their opinions on individuals or groups of people.  That applies to all points of view, not just one.  The comment section at the end of the story is proof of that.

Of course the people who comment on these stories are disproportionately part of the “Peanut Gallery.”  You know, the ones who like to spew hatred, racism, misogyny and all kinds of weirdness through the safety of anonymous posting. Not all, but many.

But the point remains.  Everything that happens to us is a Teachable Moment.
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I’ve spent much of the last 20 years training beginning counselors as a supervising mentor through college masters degree programs. These are people who are bright, caring and genuinely committed to helping people.

And like any other beginning professional, they create plenty of Teachable Moments. Some little ones, like letting a client go on too long during a conversation.

And some whoppers, like missing an important deadline, or failing to protect the client’s safety when they’re in danger.

One way of looking at them is to call them mistakes. And they were. Damage was done that needed to be undone.

And in one or two cases the Teachable Moment was severe enough to have me think counseling was the wrong profession for this person.

But the emotion we bring to it – the way we interpret our Teachable Moments – is the thing that separates being a slave to them from learning, growing and getting better.

I guarantee, before too long you will have a Teachable Moment.  May not make the Internet, but you’ll have one.  Count on it!  I’ve had a couple in the last 24 hours.  :)

What you do with them – whether you call it a mistake, or even a character flaw – or you recognize them as a funny, loving moment to get bigger, stronger and full of love…that one’s completely up to you.

Seize The Day!

Your Pal,
Larry

February 1, 2011 · Filed Under Uncategorized

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