For every life circumstance you complain about,every person you’re angry at because they victimizedyou, every chance you didn’t take, every mistake youdidn’t correct, every opportunity for healing and renewalyour ego wouldn’t permit….There is at least one other person in the same situation,or a worse one, who did what you wouldn’t. They reapedthe rewards you did not..And no matter how much time has passed, no matterhow crappy your life looks and feels right now,you STILL have the opportunity to summon your senseof courage, adventure and play….And make your life a living work of art, and a damnfun place to be.
That came to me while I was at the gym.
I was reading some really good stuff from a few other people. A little of this, a little of that, and I pulled it together.
In fact it was the note I wrote to the people on my list yesterday.
Whether it’s network marketers, Internet marketers, people looking for love, weight loss, more presents in their Christmas stocking…whatever…
The thing that stops most people dead in their tracks is responding to all the things that have gone wrong in their lives by magnifying them.
As if they forgot that everything builds on everything else.
That all the great stuff is on the other side of that learning curve.
And in reality, is already here.
A small adjustment of the lens.
A broken heart that finds gratitude in the ability to feel.
A bill unpaid that finds gratitude in a bed to sleep in and a mind that resourceful enough to figure it all out.
A failing body that has pain and illness as a warning signal and defense mechanism, and still gets to experience pleasure.
You get the idea.
I could spend all day waxing poetic about what to do with the wheels come off. I could throw inspirational thoughts at you.
But let’s not do that.
Let me give you three actionable things to do when your life sucks.
1. Feel All Of It. Whether you get fired, lose a big contract, get dumped, or find out you have a disease…any bad thing…there is a process of grieving you will never short circuit. I saw a great status last week that talked about people moving to forgiveness before they permit themselves to feel sadness or anger, or defend themselves.
I’m all for forgiveness, but I take care of Number One first. And as human beings, we haven’t found a way to short circuit our feelings. We can put them in a box for a while but then they usually come out in destructive ways. We’ve seen this over and over again. Feel all the pain, and be grateful for it. That’s what will let you move on.
2. Be Good To Yourself. When our lives suck, we tend to look for comfort. Foods, alcohol, bad TV, name your vice. I get it. Been there, done that. But imagine what happens if you take the opportunity to short circuit that self-pity response (sorry…that’s what it is) and replace it with something that’s going to make you stronger in the long run.
So instead of stuff that feels good for a moment but doesn’t add value to your life, think about reaching for foods that feed your body and spirit. Get a massage or visit a chiropractor. Read something that inspires, or listen to music that you have to settle into but lifts your soul. In other words, be truly good to yourself. Let your pain springboard you into a better reality.
3. See One Step Past The Present. When life sucks many of us do one of two things: imagine we’ll never feel any better, or fantasize about a giant comeback. Neither of those are likely to happen.
Instead, visualize yourself just a little past the pain. Rage becomes annoyance. A broken heart becomes a dull ache. Poverty becomes a tight squeeze. Everything we want comes to us in stages. It’s what we teach our kids, so let’s be smart and use it on ourselves. Once we feel a little better, it’s the key to feeling a lot better.
Sure, there’s more. But if you follow these three simple steps, all kinds of stuff will open up to you so that your life will totally stop sucking.
Got any methods that have worked when your life sucks? How did you turn it around?
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