A Facebook friend named Val Neighbors asked a good question the other day: why would a coach would demean their clients.
That takes a multifaceted answer. If a “coach” is acting with professionalism, he/she won’t demean them. But there isn’t much of a professional standard in coaching…the term is too nebulous. Besides, the role of coach is different depending on who you ask.
But if you ask why anyone in a helping capacity would demean someone else, the answer is always because they’re either not aware of what they’re doing (insufficient skill) or their ego won’t allow someone else to surpass them. As a coach/counselor, my goal is for people to see their best selves and step into them…to be able to function independently in the world.
Of course I tossed that up on my wall. And I got some great comments in return. Here’s a sample…
Why would anyone in any capacity demean anyone??? We are all created equally and shouldn’t make anyone feel as if they are less of a person. It is worse if the person doing the demeaning is in a coach capacity but at the same time we all should be aware of how we are treating anyone. You should always treat everyone with respect or treat them as you would want to be treated.
When you are operating from a capacity to help you want them to see their best selves. Now some folk are merely trying to manipulate others into thinking they need their services and that is where I see them demeaning people.
When a person is demeaning someone else or putting them down in anyway, they are showing their own insecurities. And the world knows it. Are they not embarrassed? Or are they too oblivious?
Here’s The Truth…
A big part of what coaches do when they ‘demean” people is when they confuse tough love with personal insults.
I don’t see any problem with showing people how great, whole and deserving they are…then contrasting that with how they’re living with such scarcity or making such poor decisions. Demeaning someone would be to put a limit on their potential based on the coach’s perception. When someone diminishes you without showing you what’s possible, get away from them ASAP!
What do you think?