I’m not precisely sure when the idea for this subject came to me. I know I dictated it into my iPhone, then went on my way.
And it may seem an odd subject for a dude who’s thrown down so heavily with weight loss and physical well being.
But the truth is…our bodies want to be healthy. They want to find equilibrium in the form of healing, balance and a healthy weight. And so much of our physicality is tied up in regret and resentment from the past.
So yeah…I know why the subject came to me.
And here it is…
It’s common for us to think of people who challenge us, who piss us off, who make us sad, who elicit most kinds of angry or hurt reactions as our enemies.
That is a shortsighted, even dangerous thought process.
We have to start with the realization that people are not our “enemies.”
They are far too busy running their own lives, keeping their own heads above water to plot any kind of mischief against us.
In fact I’ll bet money that no one woke up this morning and said, ” Hmmmmm… I think I’ll plot something terrible against “(insert your name here).”
If that did happen, I would really check how you’re living your life, and what attracted to that kind of hostility towards you.
Like I said, that’s pretty rare among grown-ups.
What is not so rare is the temptation to look at those with whom we have conflict as our “enemies.”
They aren’t. They’re our antagonists.
They’re our personal puzzle. They’re a challenge to whatever the flow of our thoughts, emotions and behaviors are.
They upset our groove.
And that’s okay. Because quite often our groove is calling out to be upset.
They challenge our behavior, and indirectly they challenge the thoughts and feelings that led to that behavior.
The fact that they do it in an unpleasant way doesn’t negate the lesson. In fact the unpleasantness often it makes it easier for us to see, since it creates something we may not like, but have to deal with.
Someone who really clashes with us is someone we have a hard time avoiding.
And yes, we can chalk it up to them being mean, miserable, irresponsible, thoughtless, selfish a**holes.
But that’s rarely the case. In fact your antagonist may think of you the same way.
Or they may not be thinking of you at all. You’ve magnified their importance in your life way over what it really is.
Or they may be thinking of you with love and compassion…even as they keep a distance. Talk about upsetting the applecart!
In that sense they are our great teachers, even heroes.
Your antagonist is calling out to your best self.
Because you have negative energy tied up in maintaining a hostile or distant relationship with them.
That doesn’t mean you should welcome a toxic or dysfunctional relationship back into your life.
But whenever things are out of balance in the form of anger, it’s always an invitation to grow.
To reach for empathy, and compassion. And respect…for you and for them.
And yeah…watch that energy go free!
And imagine how you’re going to use it for something wonderful!
Your antagonist isn’t your enemy.
Your antagonist is your best friend.
Have you been holding onto anger, resentment, regret for your antagonist?
Have you set yourself free from that bondage?
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